The past couple of weekends have been super busy. We have been on the go non stop. But, who cares when you’re spending time with family? Thanks to Walmart grocery pick up I still managed to get food on the table. But, our schedule was still out of whack. Surprisingly, I wasn’t upset or bothered by it. Typically, I’m easily agitated when things don’t go as planned. Busy weekends mean long Sunday nights preparing for the week and trying to get things done that went to the wayside days prior. The feeling of being tired and “off” seems to linger throughout the week. It would always hit me as soon as I get home. So what did I do? I kept going. Because even though I was exhausted, it was worth it for one reason.
One word: FAMILY
The feeling of bring tired and overwhelmed later is worth the memories created in the present.
In my “Fathers I Love” series I wrote about my grandfathers and how I lost my paternal grandfather shortly before my baby boy was born. What I didn’t tell is how I live with regret and guilt daily on not creating one last memory with him.
My family moved to New York for my job about 4 years ago. But, because my company’s headquarters was back home I would get a chance to go back home for meetings, training, etc. and see my family. The last time I went home before my grandfather died, I didn’t go see him. I was exhausted from work. After work, at 5pm, I would have had to drive the hour to where he lived, stay for a good amount of time and then drive an hour back to my hotel. Then, get up for an early flight the next morning. I decided I was too tired to make the sacrifice.
I kept telling my mom “I feel like I need to go see my granddaddy.” Yet, I didn’t.
When I got the call at 6am on October 29th, the day before my birthday, that he had passed away, I was crushed. All I could think about was how I had not gone to see him.
Here I was 7 months pregnant and urged by my family to not take the flight for his service. I was on bedrest during my first pregnancy and my pregnancy was going well at that point. I wouldn’t be traveling for a stress free time. So I listened, I stayed put. But here was another example of me not being there for my granddaddy. And I would never get another opportunity.
Now, I am ok with being tired.
I am ok with being exhausted daily. It is worth every yawn. Knowing when to slow down and take a minute to yourself is a must. Knowing when saying no is not an option is priceless. So the next time you feel too tired to do something with or for your loved ones ask yourself if that no is worth it. As chiche’ic as it is, tomorrow is not promised. Make the memories now while you can.