Writing this series has been amazing! It felt good to memorialize the memorable moments I’ve shared with all the mothers in my life. It came easy because I was truly writing from the heart. Now that it’s time to do the same for the most important woman in my life, I’m stuck. I don’t know where to start. The fear of not doing her justice is real. How can I even begin to put to words what she’s done for me and how I feel about…
*Cue Boys 2 Men
My mom and I have been through EVERYTHING together. Ups, downs, highs and lows. One of the things I admire about her the most is that she allowed me to be a kid the whole time. As an adult, I have a sense of how difficult life must have been. But she didn’t pass on her burdens to me. She didn’t try to keep me on “her side” by putting others down. She just focused on her being the mom and me being the kid.
Although I’m the only child I have had to share my mom with others. And you know what, I’m perfectly fine with that! There are friends that still call her “Ma” and she considers them her other children. But, there is one special person who she sometimes thinks she birthed…my baby sister. Let me explain. My sister and I have the same father, not mother. And, my sister was born YEARS after my parents divorced. However, the day my sister came into my life she entered my mother’s heart as well. As weird and complicated it may seem to the outside world, we are one big happy family! I’m talking family vacations and all! Let’s put it where the goats can get it (shout out to Joe Madison). A mother that can love the child of her ex-husband as if they were her own is a mother like none other! My parents even “argued” one day about whose daughter she is more than the other!
Daddy: “Her blood runs through my veins!”
Mommy: “Don’t nobody care about your blood! That’s my girl!”
When I became a mother I was scared. I wasn’t planning on being a mom, not right then anyway. The night I took the pregnancy test I went straight to my mom’s house. As nervous and ashamed as I was, I knew I couldn’t keep it from her. I had to tell her. I sat on her bed shaking in my boots, crying my eyes out and told her I was pregnant. You know what she did? Laughed at me! Her exact words were:
“What are you crying for? You’re almost 30. You have your own house, your own car and a good job. I’m, not taking care of you now and I’m not about to start. You done crying?”
She was trying to be funny, but she knew just what to say. I left her house with so much relief. It was going to be okay. She might not have started to take care of me again. But, she did support me. To this day she is a major help to me. I couldn’t ask for a better G-Ma for my boys. She has tuned into that G-Ma that always has peppermints in her purse. That is hilarious to me. However, it puts a smile on their face and that’s all that matters to her.
One of my mom’s lines is “I’m not your friend, I’m your mother”. Even though we’re not “friends” we are in a special place in our relationship. We both have dreams and goals we want to accomplish and can share them with each other as two grown women…who happen to be mother and daughter. Our blood relationship feeds our supporter relationship. We call each other with praise reports, prayer requests and good old-fashioned venting sessions. I want to see her win. Not just because she’s my mom and I love her. But because she’s a good woman and I like her.