Friday nights you can find me on the couch, curled up watching a movie. First up is a family friendly pick to watch with the kiddos. Then, they go to bed while mommy and daddy watch a movie of the non-animated genre. One Friday night I found myself alone for the adult portion of movie night. The kids were off to bed and my husband was out with his friends. Like any other level-headed woman, I chose a movie that I knew he would never watch with me.
I didn’t make it to the theaters to see it so this was my chance to laugh out loud at all the parts everyone told me I would, no judgement. In the movie four girlfriends from college go on an overdue Girls Trip. They met at Florida A&M University, my alma matter. One of the girls was a journalism major, so was my rommie! Instantly I put myself in the movie. We didn’t have a formal name, but most of my college memories include the same group of girls. As the movie progressed and I reminisced a light bulb went off.
OH MY GOD, I’M JADA PNKETT!
Minus the homely dress (not according to my friend), I am Jada Pinkett’s character. Obviously not the exact replica, but theoretically the same person. I’m the mother. A lot of my life does revolve around my kids. I’m the one that doesn’t party like everyone else. I’m definitely not the most stylish.
OH MY GOD, I’M JADA PNKETT!
I’m “that friend”! You know the one. The friend that the others are embarrassed by. The one that has on Nikes when everyone else is in 9-inch heels. The friend who brings up her kids in EVERY conversation, getting her evicted from the group chat. Yup, that’s me!
The following Monday morning I told my coworkers that I finally watched the movie. As I began to explain how I started comparing myself to the characters in the movie, I couldn’t finish my sentence before someone said “You’re Jada Pinkett.” Should I be offended that someone else was so quick to call that out? I mean, I don’t want to be pre-Essence Fest Jada, nor do I want to be post Essence Fest Jada. Somewhere in the middle would be just right.
Here’s the lesson.
Yes, I may be one of the few with kids. Yes, I may not want to “club” anymore. But, that doesn’t mean homely has to be my middle name. Yes, most of my time is dedicated to “mom-life”. Guess what, that’s okay too! God blessed me to serve as their mother and I take that job seriously. But, I was a whole person before they came along. I can be the fun involved mom for my kids, the fun put-together wife for my husband and the fun content woman for myself! At the end of the movie Jada found her niche. She became comfortable with her stage in life and introduced a little of her old self to her new self. I like to think I’ve had the same re-awakening (just in not so dramatic of a way). Just last week on date night my husband told me I was being “extra”. The truth is, I was just being extra for me. I popped the tag on a new jumpsuit, styled it with a belt and put my clip-ins in. Your girl was cute! My extra was others every day routine. I am thankful that my husband is pleased with me just how I am. However, we must do things for ourselves.
I’m challenging all my fellow moms to be a little “extra”. We will no longer be “that friend” in the group. We will be the best friend to ourselves.