One day my son came home and told me he had a secret to tell me. He had a crush on a girl in his class. This was the moment I realized I had a lifetime ahead of me of boy mom Valentine’s Days.
My son is in 1st grade. I wasn’t ready! (In my Kevin Hart Voice)
This crush became the only topic we talked about all night. He even kept talking about it in front of his little brother. He was not ashamed of his feelings. The more his little brother made funny faces or said “Eww”, he didn’t care. He explained that it wasn’t gross to have a girlfriend. But what shocked me the most was his immediate focus on all the nice things he wanted to do for her.
He insisted that on his birthday I bring a special cupcake for her. Different from all of the other cupcakes that would be passed out to his other classmates. So much so that the next day he asked her what her favorite thing is.
Shopkins. I have to buy 1 Shopkins cupcake.
My initial reaction was to tell him that he should give her the cupcake on her birthday. Not his. But why? Why can’t he do something nice for a girl he likes on his day. Make her feel special.
We made it through Christmas without an “I have to get her a present” ordeal. But I know I will not be able to avoid this for Valentine’s Day. I now have to navigate Valentine’s Day as a boy mom.
So much energy is spent on people saying we should teach young ladies how they should expect to be treated. But, are we teaching our boys how to be that guy that knows how to treat her? Is there the same emphasis there? I don’t think so.
So, is it a bad thing if he asks to do or buy something for his Valentine? In first grade?
As much as I don’t want to accept that my 6-year-old wants to have a girlfriend, I also don’t want to have a 26-year-old who doesn’t know how to have a healthy relationship. Who knew a boy mom’s Valentine’s Day as a boy mom would be so stressful? So, I’ll be that mom coaching him through what to write on candy grams. And sitting next to him as he writes an extra special message on one of his valentine cards. And my husband will be that dad who has prep talks with him on the ride to school (this already happens by the way).
This Valentine’s Day, talk to your son.
Don’t just listen to him talk about his crush. Have a conversation. Find out why he likes her. How he treats her at school. How she treats him. While no 6 year old needs a girlfriend, he does need a foundation on how to treat them in the future