In my head I could use this time to do things that I usually have to do at night and weekends. Here’s the problem with that:
I’m still working…in the office. I’m working during Rona.
I’m not, at this point, able to work from home. While I do work in HR, I work in an industry that needs to keep going as much as possible, during a time like this.
How does it feel to still work while the rest of the world is quarantined at home?
I can’t find any other way to say it. I go in every morning with an eerie feeling. Luckily, my youngest son’s daycare is still open. We get up, get dressed, I drop him off and head to work. The beginning of our day gives the illusion that things are normal. As soon as I begin my drive to work, reality sets in. The empty highways, nonexistent Starbucks drive-thru line and shortened commute is a daily reminder that I am one of the few actually going into the office to work. Just before writing this I was setting up my son’s virtual learning accounts. Watching videos about how the system will work. What our expectations are. Knowing that in the morning I will not be sitting by his side helping him through this transition. I’ll be sitting at my desk at work. Bound to my chair. Restricted in my movement. Only able to stay in my building. Wondering how my son’s first day of virtual school is going. How he’s adjusting.
It really sucks.
Fear and doubt try to creep in. Too much news will have you paranoid. Not enough will have you unprepared. The constant updates of store closings, social restrictions and full-blown shutdowns is a lot to take in. Especially as I sit at work with a few hundred other people. It’s hard to stay focused and encouraged. I struggled. But I have to get through this.
Thank God I have a job.
I may feel some type of way about being there. But I’m there. Blessed to have a job that allows me to provide for my family. There are others that no longer have a job because of the same reason I don’t want to go to mine. Who am I to complain.
Thank God I have a husband.
The endless memes of these new home school moms are hilarious. They keep me gong most days. But this momma doesn’t get to be home through this process. Mom guilt at it’s finest. But, I have a husband. A true partner that is able to be home during this process. I recognize that there are other parents that are doing this solo dolo. I don’t take it for granted that I am not.
Thank God I have my health.
While my husband has jokingly said that he needs to quarantine me because I’m putting my family at risk by going to work every day…he’s not entirely wrong. I am going to work every day with people that are around other people every day…and the cycle continues. We are taking every safety precaution. And, we’re doing the same at home. However, nothing is fool proof. Thank God that regardless of the many people I’ve come in contact with, I still have my health.
Did I mention that it sucks to still be going to work? Every day I have moments when I find myself scrolling through CNN, searching for the latest update. It’s depressing. Then I have my good moments full of laughter. Nothing is funnier than these Rona memes! I’ve chosen to focus on what I do have, and not the things I can’t control.